I ain't that dainty.

genlock · Post by **genlock** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:48 am

Sheryl Crow Blog:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Damn Socialists are trying to get into all parts of our lives.

Zak Tyler · Post by **Zak Tyler** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:30 am

genlock wrote:Sheryl Crow Blog:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Damn Socialists are trying to get into all parts of our lives.

do it the military way... any former military remember the briefing we got on the use of the MRE, and the square of TP in there?
in a nutshell for those of you that have never had that priviledge.....

when you open the package with the "accessories" you get a folded square of "tissue". (you can actually simulate this exercise with any kleenex tissue if you'd like to follow along. first you'll have to fold the kleenex into fourths. now granted the tissue in the MRE is about half that size) now the direction for using this toilet paper, from an official military briefing: find the solid corner (the one opposite the loose corners of the folder tissue) rip off about a 1/4 inch of the corner DO NOT DISCARD, now insert a finger from the loose corner side so the tip of your finger is seen in the void from the torn off piece. wipe ass. now use ripped corner to clean out under your finger nail.

thankfully i never had to use the TP portion of the MRE's...

Tom Taggart · Post by **Tom Taggart** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:06 pm

With the increased production of corn-based ethanol, we should have an enormous surplus of corn cobs.....

genlock · Post by **genlock** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:08 pm

Leaves, carefully chosen.

Arp2 · Post by **Arp2** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:28 pm

Tom Taggart wrote:With the increased production of corn-based ethanol, we should have an enormous surplus of corn cobs.....

Yeah, but ethanol is going to cause such massive price hikes in food and energy that we'll be walking around all puckered up anyway.....won't have to worry about it.....

Rock · Post by **Rock** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:59 pm

This thread's quickly going into the toilet.

Bob Loblaw · Post by **Bob Loblaw** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:16 pm

Rock wrote:This thread's quickly going into the toilet.

No shit.

Arp2 · Post by **Arp2** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:46 pm

Maybe someone should flush it.

Dave Allen · Post by **Dave Allen** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:21 am

Holy crap!

Bob Campbell · Post by **Bob Campbell** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:57 am

You guys wipe?

Zak Tyler · Post by **Zak Tyler** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:00 am

ok, butt seriously... has anyone EVER tried to wipe with JUST ONE SQUARE???

The People's DJ · Post by **The People's DJ** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:52 am

I'm going to need a ruling from the Swearmaster General, but fuck that fuckin' bitch. Let me tell you how I celebrated Earth day. I mowed my yard. Two hours of gasoline burning mower and weed eater. Then I opened a bag of charcoal and dumped it into a grill. I added haft a can of charcoal lighter fluid and lit that son of a bitch up. I had T-bone steak and pork. So I've piss off PETA too. Hey, if humans are destroying the Earth then damn it I'm going to do my part.

Damn my evil Republican ways.

SPIKE NESMITH! · Post by **SPIKE NESMITH!** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 9:21 am

...gotta love Maddox.

Bob Campbell · Post by **Bob Campbell** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 9:30 am

God, you know I hate to go political, but denying global warming is sort of like denying evolution. Oh, now I've gone religious too. Sorry.
The bottom line is; a: global warming is real, so we better do something aboutit.
b: it's not real, so why not do something about it. Because if "a" is true, we're screwed if we don't, but if "b" is true, we create dozens of new industries and hundreds of thousands of new jobs. We change certain things about the way we live, but that's always happening anyway.

If you go to the doctor and he says you have heart disease, do you say, "well, I'll do something about it as soon as you can tell me the exact date I'll have a fatal heart attack".
While scientists can't tell us exactly the day West Virginia will become ocean front property, all the evidence says we're warming up. So why not take pre-emptive action?

God, Sheryl Crow is hot. She doesn't need ANY tp. I'll lick it clean for her.

Bob Loblaw · Post by **Bob Loblaw** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 9:51 am

Bob Campbell wrote:God, Sheryl Crow is hot. She doesn't need ANY tp. I'll lick it clean for her.

You owe me breakfast. Mine is in the wastebasket now. It was better when it was in my tummy.

The People's DJ · Post by **The People's DJ** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:15 am

all the evidence says we're warming up

Yet 30 years ago we were COOLING down. Explain that.

Lee · Post by **Lee** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:18 am

People 30 years ago didn't fart as much as people today do.

The People's DJ · Post by **The People's DJ** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:20 am

Lee wrote:People 30 years ago didn't fart as much as people today do.

Bob Campbell · Post by **Bob Campbell** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:39 am

Somebody wrote;
Yet 30 years ago we were COOLING down. Explain that.

Easy. Not true. Short term variation does not alter a long term trend.
It was cold last week in North Carolina. Does that mean global warming does not exist. No, it was a small scale local variation.
Global warming is what is says it is, global. Local variation does not mean the global trend is not happening.
example; You have the flu. You're temperature is 103. You put your hand in ice. It gets colder. You still have a temperature of 103.

Arp2 · Post by **Arp2** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:43 am

The People's DJ wrote:I'm going to need a ruling from the Swearmaster General, but fuck that fuckin' bitch. Let me tell you how I celebrated Earth day. I mowed my yard. Two hours of gasoline burning mower and weed eater. Then I opened a bag of charcoal and dumped it into a grill. I added haft a can of charcoal lighter fluid and lit that son of a bitch up. I had T-bone steak and pork. So I've piss off PETA too. Hey, if humans are destroying the Earth then damn it I'm going to do my part.

Me, too. I made sure I enjoyed some extra spinach the night before so I could do my part in adding methane that day. I'm serious.

Also, something I really enjoy -- and I'm serious about this, too -- is putting biodegradable trash inside non-biodegradable trash. And, then, that non-biodegradable trash inside other non-biodegradable trash. Heh heh heh....

WVBROADCASTING.NET

I ain't that dainty.

I ain't that dainty.

Re: I ain't that dainty.