Kentucky DMV adds chicken to driving test

Dr. Whiplash · Post by **Dr. Whiplash** » Thu May 31, 2007 8:46 am

LOUISVILLE, KY â€” The Kentucky Department of Motor Vehicles announced yesterday that the game of chicken will be added to the state's driver's-license road test, testing prospective motorists' ability to drive directly towards one another at an accelerating speed.

"We want to make sure new drivers can handle everyday Kentucky driving scenarios," said DMV spokesman Marty Kerta.

The state's test is already one of the most challenging in the nation, requiring Kentuckians to drive through stop signs, hurtle into police roadblocks, achieve at least two seconds of airborne status, and do donuts.

"If we have drivers on the road lacking these vital chicken skills, something terrible could happenâ€”like, for instance, someone swerving away at the last second like a giant pussy," Kerta said.

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Big Media · Post by **Big Media** » Thu May 31, 2007 9:36 am

That gave me a chuckle. Now, if Ohio can teach their drivers where the gas peddle is located....

Dr. Whiplash · Post by **Dr. Whiplash** » Thu May 31, 2007 9:44 am

OK, we'll punch the gas if you guys use your signals.

Cameron · Post by **Cameron** » Thu May 31, 2007 10:01 am

Ohio Driver's License Questionnaire:

Do you have a face?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] I don't understand the question

Would the car you wish to drive pass inspection in Bosnia?
[ ] No
[ ] I don't understand the question

Do you have any objection to a front license plate so the driver in front of you can identify via their rear-view mirror who is about to crash into them?

[ ] No
[ ] What's a license plate?

If you checked any of the above boxes, go to the first available window to collect your license.

fearpeddler · Post by **fearpeddler** » Thu May 31, 2007 11:23 am

Dr. Whiplash wrote:OK, we'll punch the gas if you guys use your signals.

why, you guys don't know how to use those either......

Lee · Post by **Lee** » Thu May 31, 2007 3:44 pm

Here's the revised WV Driver's (Special) Ed. Exam:

The speed limit on I-64 is:
a. 65
b. 75
c. Unlimited
d. As fast as I want till I crash and kill somebody.

Robert C. Byrd's preferred driving uniform is:
a. Suit and tie
b. Hawaiian shirt and tight shorts
c. A KKK robe
d. Dressed up as Buckwheat complete with blackface paint

ATV's are only legal on what kind of roads:
a. Rural areas
b. I-64
c. Vroom-vroom
d. Helmet? My head's hard enough!

Huntington, WV is slowly becoming Detroit, MI:
a. True
b. False
c. All of the above.
d. Got some crack??

Marshall's football team drives:
a. Slow
b. Marshall has a football team??
c. Randy Moss
d. Got some crack??

West Virginians drive fast because:
a. Hopped on meth
b. Going to get meth.
c. The hooker in the passenger's seat has OD'ed on Meth.
d. Got some crack??

Dr. Whiplash · Post by **Dr. Whiplash** » Thu May 31, 2007 4:44 pm

Cameron wrote:Ohio Driver's License Questionnaire:

Do you have a face?
[x] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] I don't understand the question

Would the car you wish to drive pass inspection in Bosnia?
[ ] No
[x] I don't understand the question

Do you have any objection to a front license plate so the driver in front of you can identify via their rear-view mirror who is about to crash into them?

[x] No
[ ] What's a license plate?

If you checked any of the above boxes, go to the first available window to collect your license.

Aced it!