Funniest 'remote' moments

[Greg Goodfellow]

Mine came this weekend at Pennsboro on Saturday. I'm setting up when a dude on a bike comes up to me, exhibiting more fingers than teeth, and cradling a cube of brew. He tells me a bad joke, informs me he's been drinking, then shakily rides his bike up a steep hill behind the old brick depot. I watched him perform 'mission accomplished,' getting his prize to its intended resting place.

Of course, whenever a station van appears, others come out of the woodwork wanting a prize. One lady gave me a rambling account about her aging mother wanting her to win a prize that was featured on our station. I gave her a number and sent her on her way. Then, about a minute before our second break, the fire whistle went off, completely drowning out everything except perhaps the last thirty seconds. As we were situated right next door, this was a significant event.

I ended up being the youngest person at the event, until a group came up wanting to advertise with the station, then gave me some religious tracts. I must have a face saying, "Jehovah's Witness? Y'all come on over heah!" The place did have some very good hot dogs and sauce, however. They wanted to give me freebies, but I just gave them money for a donation and enjoyed the food. They're trying to raise money for a 'beautification' project involving the ancient brick depot and the Old Stone House nearby.

Since they didn't give away any free food, they didn't draw more than about twenty people. Contrast that to Sistersville, which gave away free ice cream and cake on the fifth ("Picnic in the Park"). The fireworks were pretty good overall, and the exhibition wrestling kept people late into the night, much to the happiness of food vendors.

Please share your most interesting/funniest remotes.

[genlock]

I worked a remote once in 1967, I think, at a new gas station on 3rd ave and 26th st.
A speedway is there now. I was the engineer and Rodger Evans was the talent.
This was for WSAZ radio and they actually sent engineers to assist at remotes.
The remote broadcast started at noon and went well for the first 30 minutes.
The gas station was giving away some really big beverage glasses that were nice.
Then the rains came. A cloudburst. 3rd ave flooded at AC&F and 5th ave at the pub.
No traffic, no gas sales for the rest of the afternoon. I had the station truck, 4wd ford.
No problem for me to get thru. Remote was cancelled when power went out at the gas station.
The station owners were really depressed, so I bought a case of the glasses and packed up the remote.
Those glasses are still in use in my family. The gas station went broke soon after.
Just sold gas, no beer. I just had to hook up the collins turntable dual thing and a mike.
connect to phone lines and that was it. I was mostly there to carry stuff.
24 glasses for less than $10 bucks.

[MTocco]

Contrast that to Sistersville, which gave away free ice cream and cake on the fifth ("Picnic in the Park"). The fireworks were pretty good overall...

Greg - they've been doing that since you and I were in diapers. They called it an "ice cream and cake walk", then, and the Sistersville Band Boosters got the proceeds. I know this because I was in the band and my mom was the band booster president since before my brother was in high school, and years before she was president. They had a carnaval in the park over the 4th, remember? (That's over 50 years for you younglings out there.) Sorry, Greg - didn't mean to tell your age. I, of course, have not aged in years.

[Greg Goodfellow]

I surely do remember, M. I believe Denzil Christy, who put out some really interesting (being kind here) country records, did the 'cakewalk' every year. The city park would be jammed. Correct me if I'm wrong, as I usually am, but the fire department used to put on some really good fireworks displays, or they hired out some very good people. The town and surrounding areas would really turn out for the entire event.

It's difficult to communicate to people how much used to go on in Sistersville. You take things for granted, assume it's always gonna be this way, then life happens and it's gone. For example, Friday night football in Sistersville was amazing! You would go to a fight and a football game would break out. The town embraced its teams all year long. The band was huge for a single A school, as you well remember. At Tyler Consolidated, a very small double-A school, they fielded less than 40 last year.

As to this year's"Picnic in the Park," the great unwashed seem to like the one dollar all-day pool admission, even with the threat of rain. Luckily rain held off for the most part, but, with temps in the 70s, they had nowhere near last year's alleged 550. However, the pool was in great shape, with much TLC given to it, including a new mural facing the kiddy pool.

Sistersville IGA and Pat Morris have got to have some love for providing the ice cream and cake. As I was leaving around 3, there was still plenty.

I've got to hand it to Barbara Vincent this year. She is the president of the Sistersville Community Service Organization. 'Picnic In the Park" was much more 'kid friendly' than in years past, with a guy from a local toy store and basketball tournaments. For fans of all ages, exhibition boxing and 'rasslin' was included for the first time, keeping people long after the fireworks ended. As it is usually extremely difficult to get out of Dodge after the show, the exhibition kept a lot of folks from hitting the happy trails, and we talked at length to some of our neighbors, so it was much easier getting out this time.

[lastone]

1973 Williamson vs Logan for the basketball championship game. I was the engineer and Tennis Hatfield (future Mingo County Sheriff) did play by play. We had a dry line to the press box and Tennis was doing his usual....BSin' as other people. He was best at Walter Cronkite, which he was doing that night. We all were laughing in the press box when I began to see C & P guys roaming the Gym. First two. Then three, four, five...what was going on? I called the station and everything was OK. Meanwhile, "This is Walter Cronkite CBS News" was still going on with Tennis. Then one of the C & P guys came up to me and said: "I'm sorry but we have a cross connect with the CBS network and I don't think we'll get your game on. We have people working on it from Charleston to Beckly trying to find the problem. We have already credited you the line charge." Tennis went silent and turned blood red, but said nothing. I know the C & P guy thought we were nuts for as soon as he went out, there were ten guys laughing so hard we cried. (Logan won with a one handed full court throw at the last second. At least we got the line for free!

[MTocco]

1973 Williamson vs Logan for the basketball championship game. I was the engineer and Tennis Hatfield (future Mingo County Sheriff) did play by play. We had a dry line to the press box and Tennis was doing his usual....BSin' as other people. He was best at Walter Cronkite, which he was doing that night. We all were laughing in the press box when I began to see C & P guys roaming the Gym. First two. Then three, four, five...what was going on? I called the station and everything was OK. Meanwhile, "This is Walter Cronkite CBS News" was still going on with Tennis. Then one of the C & P guys came up to me and said: "I'm sorry but we have a cross connect with the CBS network and I don't think we'll get your game on. We have people working on it from Charleston to Beckly trying to find the problem. We have already credited you the line charge." Tennis went silent and turned blood red, but said nothing. I know the C & P guy thought we were nuts for as soon as he went out, there were ten guys laughing so hard we cried. (Logan won with a one handed full court throw at the last second. At least we got the line for free!

Now that is funny.

[MTocco]

I believe Denzil Christy, who put out some really interesting (being kind here) country records,

Good God, I forgot about him and his records... he used to stop by our house on his way home after church on Sunday nights and sing us his latest one. I use the word "sing" here loosely. His songs were a cross between "I'm all drunked up cause my woman left me for another" and "How Great Thou Art." Yep - I remember Denzil.

[Jet Black]

Wow, Sistersville HS Band, saw you guys a thousand times in my youth. I have to admit it, it was an impressive, powerhouse band. So was Paden City.

[Scott Reppert]

I am not going to even start telling stories, just listing the events. If you want to know about one you can say "hey, Scott, tell us about that one" and I might...

1). Marsha Knicely talking for two hours about University Motors. While standing in the parking lot of Victory Ford with a mic in her hand.
2). Me at the Morgantown Mall putting Tracey Allen in the floor back at Magic 101 with my helium-induced imitation of Reid Amos.
3). Jeff Carpenter breaking his leg at Wave Tek Pool doing a swim party.

From the "Big" Nick Fantasia files:
1). Community Hardware and the "I remember using a number nine shovel"
2). "It's Paw Paw Fair time, Bill Securro..."
3). "We can park there. All you gotta do is tell them we're 'Press'"
4). And, of course, preserved on audio: "The Lost Radio"

[Oldiesdude]

I did a remote for Chili Festival on Main Street in New Martinsville last Oct. They had a pepper eating contest, and I thought it would be a great bit to have the winner come over to where I was broadcasting and bring along a pepper for me to try. Now I do like hot foods, but I had no idea the force of these peppers. He had eaten something like 8 of them so I figure it can not be that bad. WRONG! I took a good size bite of the pepper, for about the first 20 seconds it did not seem too bad. THEN, Christ on a Trisket! I thought my mouth had just melted. I could not catch my breath, my eyes started watering, and snoot just poured from my nose, then all I could do was hick-up, over and over again. They brought some milk from Baristas and told me to drink it. It helped some. I tried to throw the remote back to the station while all this was going on, but could not even get the words out to do so. It would not have done any good as the board Op, Greg, was on the floor laughing.